My heart has frozen over
Winter’s taken hold
And the waters run red with blood
I’m bleeding for you, baby
You’ve cut me deep again
I just want to feel pain I can control
….
There’s something hideously satisfying about the sight of my own blood spilling out of a self inflicted wound
In the midst of choas
When the world is burning around me
And I’m choking on the smoke
You reach your hand out to steady me
And I find myself wondering about the feel of your hand in mine
………
When one door closes, another opens
I think I’d like yours to be the next door I walk through
With all the shit you put me through, I should be able to walk away and never look back… But I am forever tied around your black little heart.
I’d rather just lay down and stop breathing than have to face life without you.
But after all the shit you’ve put me through, I’ve reached this kind of… numbness.
I still hurt, I still cry… but I realize the only choice I have this time around is to let you go.
I can’t hold you here forever. Not when I lost your love a long time ago..
…
It’s so hard to fall asleep when you’re so devoid of love…
How can we fix anything
If you’re always running away
Treating me like a stranger
Never talking
?
If you’re gonna tell me you love me
Fuckin act like it
And all alone I thought you would be there
To let me know I’m not alone
But in fact that’s exactly what I was
I don’t understand what you want from me
‘Cause I don’t know if I can trust you
I hate how fucking pathetic you’ve made me
But I can’t ever seem to bring myself to hate you
I see how bad you are for me
At this point, I liken myself to those women in abusive relationships who won’t leave
I’m that woman
I can’t leave
But I’m not ignorant
I see the pain, I feel it
But for some God forsaken reason…
I embrace it
You’re killing me slowly
And I’m powerless to stop you
